Want more out of your unicorn?
At Pentacorn, Inc., we are using state of the art technology to breed magical five-horned horses according to your specifications. Pentacorns enjoy a longer lifespan than standard unicorns, require minimal grooming, and have a whinny that's especially designed to attract the coveted sparkle fairies that your belladonna so desperately needs during harvest season!
Do you prefer a Pentacorn that eats from the palm of your hand, or a fearless leader that will deliver you to Narnia and back on the tail of a shooting star? Our mad scientists will ensure that your Pentacorn's physical and psychological characteristics are tailored to suit your needs.
So don't wait. Choose Pentacorn, Inc. The future of magical horses.
2. FateAlert
Hate being surprised by the unavoidable minor annoyances of life? Chagrined at the need to walk into another room to see the time? Tackle both issues at once with FateAlert!
FateAlert is a talking alarm clock that will tell you the time and one minor annoyance that will happen in your future in the next 5-7 days every time you ask! Have no annoyances coming up? FateAlert will only announce the time. But if that toothache turns out to be a root canal at the dentist on Thursday, FateAlert will let you know ahead of time. Worried about paying your electric bill? FateAlert will inform you if your future is to sit in the dark!
While your colleagues and acquaintances move through life blissfully ignorant of their upcoming annoyances, you will be in the superior depressing know!
FateAlert. Know the time. Know the future.
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Tell me you don't want your own five-horned unicorn and an alarm clock that predicts the future.
You know that I am incredibly amazing.
Please hire me.
-V
We need more information about the synergies between these two product lines. Clearly, there's an enterprise harmonization strategy possible; if you get some time over the weekend, could you please draft a quick write-up on how we can deploy into an enterprise environment, along with some back-of-the-napkin ROI assessments?
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