To run the Internet in our cave here in Portland, Terror and I have Comcast as our Internet Service Provider, which naturally means that our Internet connection crashes approximately twenty two thousand times a day. We have called the nice representatives at Comcast many times to report the fact that our Internet connection crashes twenty two thousand times a day - and after continuously being told to replace our various pieces of Internet-related hardware (DONE) and restart the router (ask one more time, and I will KILL YOUR FAMILY) - I had had enough.
One night, after downing half a bottle of wine, I logged onto the Comcast website and submitted a form to customer service requesting that Terror and I receive compensation for our Internet-related suffering. Since I have long given up the hope that Comcast will actually manage to have Internet service that works, I requested in my customer service letter that Comcast compensate my failed Internet service with coupons. I expected to be ignored.
But I was not. And now we have gotten credit for crappy Internet service.
Name: Aleksandra
City: Portland
State: OR
Zip: 97211
Home Phone: 503-------
Email: made.path@gmail.com
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Problem: General Inquiry/Other
Comments:
Dear Comcast,
I live here in Portland and pay for high speed internet. This would
traditionally mean for me that I receive high speed internet. At my
house. 24 hours a day. Maybe 20 hours.
However, I notice that when I wake up in the morning, I spend every day
shouting because my internet speed takes ten minutes to load the Gmail
homepage. I was trying to stream some Daria cartoons from MTV.com and
after the internet turned on and off six times in twenty minutes, the
whole screen went kaput. When I tried to reload it, the internet went
dead.
Given that I do pay for internet at this address, I would like to know
what can be done so that my roommate and I no longer feel like we''re
living in 1995?
We''ve concluded that coupons are the answer. We always wish we had
coupons, and good coupons never seem to come in the mail. We''ll accept
coupons for the following:
1. Coffee
2. Cereal
3. Cheese
4. Pasta
5. Bath & Body Products
We understand that no amount of sacrificial ceremonies will improve the
speed of the internet at this address, so we kindly implore you to send
us coupons, so that we can feel justified for spending 58 dollars a
month for a 56K connection.
This is a serious inquiry. We would really like to have some coupons for
our suffering. We feel that suffering every day is definitely worth a
small coffee discount.
Thank you,
Aleksandra
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Dear Aleksandra,
Thank you for contacting Comcast High Speed Internet. My name is Arem
and it is a pleasure to have the opportunity to assist you.
I see that you would like to have your internet service downtimes
compensated through coupons. I know the importance of receiving the
standard speed which you have paid and agreed for. I am sorry for the
inconvenience this has caused you. I will be more than delighted to have
your credit request addressed accordingly. Rest assured this matter will
be taken care of.
Regarding your request, I suggest you to visit or call our nearest local
office in your area. I have included below the details of our nearest
local office in your area:
Comcast Service Center
Address: 3075 NE Sandy Blvd
Portland, OR 97232
888-824-8264
Thank you for choosing Comcast, Aleksandra. We thank you for this opportunity
to assist you. For any other concerns, please feel free to contact us
back. We value your business. Have a great day.
Sincerely,
AremLar ------
Comcast Customer Care Specialist
Original Message Follows:
-------------------------
Dear Arem,
When you say, "Rest assured this matter will be taken care of," do you mean that Comcast will send us coupons? I am happy to take other avenues in regard to the improvement of our internet service; however, I would like clarification on the matter of internet service-compensating coupons.
Thank you very much for your time - and hopefully, coupons.
Aleksandra
-------------------------
Dear Aleksandra,
Thank you for contacting Comcast High Speed Internet. My name is Audrey and I appreciate you taking the time to contact us regarding your concern. I am here to make your day better by providing world class customer service.
I see that you would like to be compensated through coupons for the times that you are having issues with your Internet service. I understand the importance of getting the appropriate connection speed which you have paid and agreed for with Comcast. I am apologize for the inconvenience this has caused you having issues accessing the internet. Rest assured that Comcast will be more than willing to have your connection issue resolved.
Aleksandra, regarding with your concern about getting a coupon as your credit for the inconvenience of getting a slow performance with your internet speed, Comcast is more than willing to apply a credit refund in your account.
If you need to get in touch with us regarding this same issue and for future assistance, please feel free to chat us back through our live assist chat for a live interaction. To assure the proper tracking of this issue I have provided the following customer case number:1703390
Please refer to this number should you contact us regarding this same issue.
It was pleasure assisting you today.
Thank you for choosing Comcast as your service provider. We appreciate you sharing your concerns as we continue to strive for complete customer satisfaction. We value your business and have a great day, Aleksandra.
Sincerely,
Audrey
Comcast Customer Care Specialist
-------------------------
Dear Audrey,
Thank you. My roommate and I will be contacting Comcast shortly to receive promised world class customer service.
Your offer of credit on our account has certainly made our day better. I assure you that my roommate, who holds the Comcast account, has a social security number and will be more than willing to provide it to you with the promise of sweet credit.
We are excited to receive some kind of compensation for restarting our router one billion times a day (between chants and sacrifices to the Internet God) and thank you very much for your time.
Sincerely,
Aleksandra
(will update when credit appears on our account...)
